Stressed

Have you ever put your head in your pillow and screamed just to get some frustration out so you don't end up punching someone. I would like to punch something hard but that would just hurt my hand and unless I'm in labor I'd rather stay away from physical pain as much as possible. I get most of my frustration out in the shower. For those of you whose mind just rolled down the gutter...you're thinking in the wrong direction. I tell people off in my head. I have conversations in my head with them and they say all the wrong things so I get to blast them and tell them off. By the time I get out of the shower I feel much better and I don't feel the need to knock their head off their shoulders. I was helping out a friend this past weekend and guess who decides to walk in (I was in a flea market, in a booth) but my ex-husband and his girlfriend, that I don't think he ever broke up with even after we got married. Now, there was no reason he needed to walk around the table. He could have walked by and that would have been that but he decided that, yes, he needed to walk in with his troll and walk around the table. I'm still wondering why. Was he showing her off? You show off a beautiful woman like a supermodel...you should be ashamed and hide...that. Anyway I kept my mouth shut and looked away. I chose not to say anything partly because I had already told them off in my head and partly because if I did say something it would have not stopped at words and I would have ended up being arrested. It wouldn't do any good anyway. Some people just don't learn no matter what.

Ok enough ranting. I'm shooting a commercial Friday morning. I'm excited! I have done one in a while. It's not big and I will only be in it for literally one second but it's enough to use as bragging rights. I've got a photoshoot this weekend too. My shoots don't make me any money but they are fun and I get to get out of the house for a while and de-stress for a bit.

I have 14 days left to get the money together to save my house. Thank you to all who have donated so far. You are a tremendous blessing! I've got quite a way to go before I reach my goal though. Please share this website and encourage people to help out. Please don't feel like you have to donate a lot to help. Just $1.00 is such a help and gets us closer to our goal. My daughter, 9, and son, 5, had decided to switch rooms before we got into financial trouble. My daughter drew a diagram of how her new room would look and my mom bought her some really fun furniture for it. As a single mom it's really hard to watch your children be disappointed. My children don't understand that Christmas will be tight again this year. I, however, will just be grateful to be able to keep our home if we can.

Our home isn't the flashiest of homes. It's down right humble and plain but it's ours for now. Here is a photo of my bedroom. After I separated from my ex I decided to paint him out of my room. This is how it turned out. I'm quite pleased with the outcome. Kinda looks like it should be in a magazine.

Day One-Now yesterday because it took me this long to post this

So I set this up last night but the donate button wasn't working so it didn't get off the ground till the afternoon.  Just after I got it running I got my first donation! Thank you John! I spoke to the man I owe my house payment to and I have another two week extension to get the money together! Yea! It's the small things right now that I'm clinging to. That and God.


So apparently there has been a major problem with fleas this year and they came to my house and decided to move in. Within days of discovering I had a problem it became an infestation. My cat, Batman,  never went outside so he couldn't have brought them in. I discovered yesterday that they were in my yard on the edge of my back patio soooo it was probably me or one of my kids. Yea! Good to know we carry fleas. Lol Anyway I slept on the sofa since my bedroom was ground zero and my cat who now has fleas kept wanting to sleep on me. My sofa is leather fortunately so the fleas weren't on it but I swear I felt my skin crawling all night and I got No sleep. When I did nod off I woke up at 9:48 and for a moment freaked out thinking I was late for work. (I just started helping a friend for two days on the weekend) After the exterminator, also a friend, sprayed the house I stepped out for lunch with another friend and when I returned Batman was crying at the door. He was wet and the poor thing looked at me with the "puppy dog eyes" and a help me cry. He was foaming at the mouth. I panicked. I knew it had to do with the chemical so I snatched him up and drove to the vet as fast I could. Having just lost my dog I've had for 12 years one month ago I just couldn't lose another 4 legged family member. He ended up being ok. The vet said the chemical must have tasted bitter to him and cats tend to salivate when they do. His poor mouth looks like Niagra Falls it was so bad. They made him throw up to make sure he didn't ingest anything and then sedated him. 6 hours later my cat started walking around. I just about thought they killed him.
In my series of unfortunate events today as luck would have it...my vacuum cleaner broke. I HAD to vacuum  my floors because of the spray and no longer living fleas. I now Highly recommend the Hoover Windtunnel. It has amazing suction power, it has a container not a bag and you don't have to replace any filters. So after spending what seemed like forever vacuuming, putting the kids to bed, straightening up the house and taking a shower I am completely exhausted. And now, after telling you my hectic but incredibly boring oh so sad life lol I'm going to finally get some sleep.

Ok so here's the deal: My life seems like an open book and most of the time it is...to my facebook friends, church, close friends (which consists of two that I really trust) and family...but few know or care to get to know the real me, the person deep down. Most people that I know already know what I'm about to say. To put this out where anyone can see and by that I'm mean certain people who I booted out of my life because of drama and I fully expect them to see this and have a good laugh at my expense...I digress, sorry...this is very difficult. When you get to this point you do whatever you can to provide for your family. I posted this sentence on facebook the other day "I need a miracle" and through that simple sentence it was suggested by several people that I try this idea.

Ok here goes...I'm losing my house. Through a series of unfortunate events, two car accidents, which left me with a bad back and memory loss, and a very psycho ex-husband I couldn't make the payments for a while and I've come to the days before I get the letter that says I need to be out. I've applied for disability and was denied the first time just like everyone else. I'm currently waiting to hear about my appeal but in the meantime I went and got a lawyer. I can make the payments from now on but paying the past due is what's the problem. So some friends suggested I put this page up in case someone wants to donate to the "help save my home and I will be eternally grateful" fund. Lol   I would put up a countdown but I can't find one so I'll post up everyday how close I am to reaching my goal and how much was donated. If you made a donation please post a comment so that I can thank you publicly. Any nasty comments will be deleted as soon as I see them. This is a difficult enough time for myself and my two children without insecure people make rude comments. Thank you and I will be updating everyone as to how this is going.

Also if you have a suggestion how I can thank everyone please post a comment. I was thinking a thank you party at my place but I'm open to other ideas.